A Big Change

After talking about it for several years, I have finally put my notice in at work and will be going to school full time. I thought I would be ecstatic, but it's really a bitter sweet transition. I'll miss my co-workers. Work has become increasingly frustrating over the last year, and I have done my best to tough it out because honestly, I work for a great company. However, although I feel that change is good in most cases, the changes that have taken place in my particular position have only stalled important processes. Being that I am in no position of power, there is only so much I can do to voice feedback. The frustration and stress is no longer worth it. On top of that, my goal is to become a nurse, and although I was making progress part time, being a full time student will allow me to focus on my actual career. I'm scared. There will be a lot of sacrifices, but in the long run, there will be happiness, and that's what matters. Connecting with others is what makes me happy, what better of a career for me than to be able to help people when they most need it, not only medically, but emotionally. Like teachers, nurses may be under appreciated by some, but they can most definitely make a difference in the lives of others. I can't wait. 2 more years!!!!

Happy 4th of July

Seif and I had originally planned to go take a vacation for the 4th, but the airfare versus the time wouldn't be financially feasible. I was bummed, but what can you do other than make the best of what you have? I'm actually glad we didn't go. Our holiday weekend turned out to be one of the funnest Independence Day celebrations yet, and all we did was spend it with friends. Sometimes sharing time with those who make you laugh amounts to far more than anything else in the world.

On a final note, this has been a sad day. Let's all say a prayer for little Caylee Anthony and all of the other innocent children out there who have had their lives senselessly taken. My head is still spinning after today, but one must admit, there was a lack of evidence. Not guilty does not mean innocent. It just means that it wasn't proven. Regardless of how it happened or who did it, a little girl lost her life, sadly like many others. May they all rest in peace.

A Little Motivation Goes a Long Way

So, I've been training for a half marathon. At first I hated it. I could not at all understand why people enjoyed running, or where that runner's high came from. I would look for any reason out there to avoid running days, even praying for bad weather (yes, I hated it that bad), but I kept on it regardless. I knew that I would only be letting myself down if I threw in the towel. Mind over matter, right? Then one day, it all changed. I can't believe that I actually look forward to running now!

I'm only up to 6 miles, but I'm a person who has never ran, so that's pretty amazing for me. It's crazy how much better I feel after I hit the pavement...it's an instant mood lifter! Where at first I was terrified that I couldn't do it, and kicking myself in the butt for playing "tough girl," I'm now actually super excited! It just goes to show how much motivation can pay off. If anyone out there is considering 5K's, half marathons, or anything of the sort, listen to me, you CAN do it!!! I'm so glad I did. I can't wait until August!!!!

I Just Remembered, I Have a Blog!

Indeed I do! I know I need to write on here more, but it's hard to keep up! I switched my major to nursing and will be going to school full time in the fall. Hopefully I can get done soon and actually start doing something that gives me internal satisfaction. Somehow, I just can't find that in the monotony of my daily duties working on contracts. Sure, I work for an awesome company, but yea .... I'm bored and not utilizing my talents at all. It was fine and dandy for a while after our traumatic experience in South Carolina, but I'm over it and ready to be the successful woman I once was.

We just got back from Jordan. My brother in law just got married to a sweet, beautiful girl named Rita. We had a really great time and the whole family was together for the first time in 6 years. We visited a lot of ancient Roman ruins, Petra, and had some wonderful family dinners. The wedding was seriously the funnest wedding I have ever attended, and I must admit, I wish Seif and I would have done the same, but I am so happy for Firas. He found a great girl and they are the cutest couple you will ever meet.

I'm feeling a little homesick. I really hope to make it to Utah to see my family this summer. I have gone home during winter the past 3 years, and I really just want to enjoy the heat of the summer, the crisp mountain air, and the smell of pine trees. Ah, the things we take for granted. I love the beach, but I LOVE the mountains and trees. I also LOVE my family, so I am determined to make this happen.

I've got the worst cold right now. I must have picked it up on the plane. I don't recall being this sick since I was in high school. It really put a damper on my trip, and I barely survived work today. I have a Dr. appointment tonight, so hopefully we can figure this thing out and he can give me something to dry up these sinuses!

That's about it. I'm rather boring today. Heck, I'm rather boring in general. But .... this blog comes in handy when I want to reflect on my life over the years, so boring as it may be, this is where I am at. As always, I'm grateful.

I've attached a few pics. Enjoy. :)

Zach

Young boy with a heart of gold,

your perpetual smile radiating through the darkest of days,

Sensitivity brought about by your capacity to love,

oblivious to the effect of your ways.

We used to laugh as you were a child,

innocent as a child could be,

continuously stopping to smell the roses,

the cherubic essence of glee.

Supernatural is your power

to lift the loneliest of spirits,

Your aura shines like the north star in the heavens,

dazzling to anyone near it.

I know I’ve failed to tell you this,

so let these words ring true,

You have always been a light in my life,

I bet you never knew.

Young boy with a heart of gold,

I have been touched by the life you lead,

Hardly dragged down by its tribulations,

readily there for those in need.

Though you have grown in to a man,

your childlike innocence still abounds,

I hope that smile never leaves you,

And your abundance always confounds.

And though we all will surely change,

as our lives continue to unfold,

To me you have and will always be,

my brother,

the young boy with the heart of gold.

-Amanda Utley 2011

2011 Best Year Ever!

This is my affirmation and it will be true, dammit! I never really look forward to New Years Eve...

a) It is my birthday and it sucks trying to celebrate when everyone is busy and well...getting old sucks too.

b) I've never been one to enjoy partying, and this is the biggest party night of the year. Yes, I am a grandma, in bed at 9 and annoyed by crowds of drunkies.

However, this birthday was awesome, and wouldn't you know it? I celebrated it in London, in a crowd of drunkies, and enjoyed myself!

Seif surprised me with this trip for my birthday. Honestly, I don't know what I ever did to deserve such a wonderful husband. Last year it was Egypt, this year it was England. I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude and love for him, but I won't bore you with that, I will just say that if you haven't been to London yet, go. I LOVED it. It was absolutely wonderful.

I hope January 1st was an indication of how 2011 will be. It was one of the best days of my life. 31 isn't so bad...I don't know why I stress so much over age. After all, it's just a number. I hope your New Years was as happy as mine. Cheers!

Challenge No. 30 / Who Are You?

Wow, I'm finally getting around to this! LOL It's no accident that the question, "Who are you" is where I left off, and has been sitting here for Lord knows how long. The truth is, I still don't 100% know who I am. Everytime I think I have it figured out, my interests change, my life changes, and in that, I change. So who am I? I guess the best answer would be that I am a growing, learning person. Really, does that ever change? In my perspective this carries on throughout life, no matter how old we are. Are we ever clearly defined? What are your thoughts?